Brothers Bothers
by MoonLight514
Summary: This is what happens when you like Hetalia too much and you want to get something that you think will be your best decision ever. Based on est. 1995/ LolliDictater manuals.
1. Chapter 1

**disclaimer: **sadly I don't own hetalia

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PING!

Stupid pop-up won't go away. I can never get any peace can I? I guess I should describe myself now I'm five foot six have back length dark brown hair and dark brown eyes and I'm fourteen year's old I also have tan-ish skin. I live alone in a gigantic house that has three floors if you don't include the attic and the basement. there's the kitchen, dining room, three rooms, three bathrooms, and a closet on the first floor. More bedrooms, bathrooms, and closets upstairs.

PING!

Stupid pop-up! Die!

Win free HETALIA UNITS

Wait wait wait! Free hetalia units...awesome~. I filled out the survay and waited for my laptop to load this information.

Your HETALIA UNITS will arrive in 2-3 buisness days

I looked at the time on my digital clock, it was already four in the morning. I turned off my laptop and turned off the light.

"Goodnight Saber." I said to my siberian husky who laid at the foot of my bed. He barked and I took that as a goodnight and fell asleep.

**-Three days later-**

Ding Dong!

I woke up to the, annoying, doorbell ringing. I got up out of bed put on my black fuzzy slippers and trudged downstairs with Saber following behind. I looked out the window in one of the rooms downstairs and saw a truck with flying mint bunny on it.

It's hard not to laugh when you look outside your window and find a giant green pikachu with wings staring right at you.

Anyways I opened the front door to see a guy with red hair wearing a mint green shirt with flying mint bunny in the middle. It's really hard to not laugh you know.

"Hello are you miss Lena Volkov?" He said looking at me up and down. I would do that too when I see a girl wearing a tanktop and basketball shorts with bed head.

"Yes, thats me." I said in my stoic tone.

"Here's your package, sign here please and take this." I signed the electronic clipboard and took the envelope he had in his hand.

"Do you want me to roll it in?" He asked, I nodded my head and moved aside as he rolled in a crate with chains on it.

I don't think crates are supposed to have chains on it.

He put it in the foyer next to the staircase. "Have a nice day." He said then left. I opened the envelope and pulled out a manual while Saber sniffed the crate.

Ivan Braginski: User Guide and Manual

I looked at the crate then back at the manual. I jumped up and down with excitement. In that crate was one of my favorite hetalia character's. I squealed like a fangirl. Don't judge me. I looked through the manual to see the safest way to wake him up and I chose number one. I took a huge breath and yelled.

"BRAT!"

The crate started shaking and I could hear sobing coming from the inside. I unchained it, grabbed my crowbar and took off the top of the crate. Inside was Ivan in the fetal position. He looked up at me with watery violet eyes.

"You are not Natalya." Thank the Lord!

"No I'm not, my name is Lena." I said, politely

"That is good da." He stood up towering over me, normally a regular person would be terrified of his height but I've seen taller people.

"Would you like something to eat?" I asked, he must be hungry from being in that box.

"Da."

I was right! I take pride in being right. I was on my way to the kitchen when I didn't here foot steps behind me. I turned around and saw Saber sniffing Ivan's shoes and Ivan was just looking down at him, he must like Saber.

"Saber stop it." I said but he didn't listen, he perfers russian instead of english.

"It's ok, I don't mind." Ivan said looking at me with his creepy smile. I sighed "Ok, what would you like to eat?"

"Syrniki would be nice, da." I haven't had syrniki in a long time, I wonder if I remember the recipe?

"Ok I think I can make that."

I said finally remebering how to make it, when I said that I think I saw his smile widen.

After finishing the syrniki I put it on a plate for me and Ivan. I looked out the kitchen door and saw Ivan having a staring contest with Saber. Should I be worried? Probably.

"Uhh the syrniki is done?" It sounded more like a question.

"Spasibo Lena." He came into the kitchen with Saber trailing behind. After finishing a quite breakfast I lead him upstairs so he could pick a room.

"Okay Ivan you can have whatever room you want except this one and that one." I said pointing to my room then my sisters.

"I would like to have this one." He pointed to the room right in front of mine.

I helped him open the door since it was locked. I like to keep things private okay!

When I opened the door I was greeted with yellow, no wonder I kept the rooms locked I didn't like somethings that were inside.

I looked over at Ivan and saw that his smile had widened so much it looked like the ends of his mouth could touch his eyes.

"Do you like the room Ivan?" I asked.

"Da I like it a lot Lena, spasibo" He hugged me, awww thats so swee-HOLY CRAP THIS DUDE IS ABOUT TO CRUSH MY SPINE!

I expressed this opinion. "Ivan, please let go." I managed to choked out. He let go (THANK GOD) and patted me on my head. Ow, I think I stopped growing a little. Ivan looked back at me after entering his room his smile still full.

"Lena, are you russian?" He asked not taking his eyes off me, I felt a prickling heat at the top of my head.

"Yes I am, but how did you know?" I asked a little confused on how he knew, people usually confused my name for something else.

"Your name means 'moon' in russian also I hear your faint russian accent" Ivan said. Now you made me feel stupid.

"Does that mean you are one with russia?"

What...I hope that isn't supposed to be perverted.

"Uhhh can I get back to you on that?"

"...Da."

"I'll be right back okay?"

"Da."

I left the room and started to look for Saber, I found him downstairs in the living room laying on the couch. Lazy dog!

"Come on Saber, lets go." I said while poking his ear. He looked at me then rolled over. Freaking lazy dog.

"Получить сейчас Saber." I said knowing he knows better than to make me irratated. He got up and jumped off the couch and walked over to the front door.

That is so much better good puppy, I tossed him a dog treat. He jumped up and grabbed it in his mouth he ate it peacefully and I walked over to him and saw Ivan coming down the stairs. He smiled at me and went into the living room to watch tv. I wonder if he heard me speak russian, he probably did. I left the house with Saber in front of me and went to walk him in the woods.

When I came back I saw Ivan on the couch with five bottles of vodka around him. He drunk all of his vodka.

SHIIII-

"Oh Lena your back, I need more vodka." Ivan smiled at me, that prickling heat is back.

"Uhh Ivan I'm not old enough to get vodka plus you don't have a ID."

"Lena you know I need vodka, da." The living room is turning purple, thats not good!

"Lets go get vodka, da." He came over to me with that same creepy smile looking down at me.

"Uhhh can you hold on for a bit?" I raced upstairs to a room and locked the door to a random room. I took the house phone that was on the night stand and called the companys number.

Hello. This is Flying Mint Bunny Co. If you recieved a unit you did not order, press one. If you got an alternate version of a unit in the box, press two. If your unit is trying to kill/rape you, press three(I heard Ivan banging on the door, I almost pressed three).

"Hello. Please state your name and the item you need." The person on the other line was a lady, she sounded irritated.

"Lena I know your in there. Why don't you come out kolkolkolkolkol?" Ivan started jiggling the handle.

"Are you sure you didn't mean to press three?" She must've heard Ivan.

"Yes I'm sure, I need an ID for Ivan! My name is Lena Volkov please get me that ID!" I shouted at the lady.

"Lena Volkov...here you are. I can get you the ID tomorrow, okay?" NO ITS NOT OKAY!

"I need that ID NOW!" I was about to cuss the bitch out when I heard her sigh in annoyance. Ivan took this chance and burst through the door. He took me by the neck of my shirt he dragged me out of the room.

"Miss Volkov, I'll send you the ID straight away goodbye."

She hung up and that stupid press this button that button started again.

"Lets go get vodka, da?" Ivan dragged me away like a rag doll.

"Ivan please let go, it feels like your choking me." I said hoping the tall russian would let go. But of course he just giggled and kept dragging me. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder, that hurt. He opened the garage door and went to my sisters old tahoe.

**-pause-**

Ok your probably wondering where my sister is in all this madness. She used to live with me but went to work in France as a fashion designer. She sometimes comes down here in America to visit and to make sure I haven't gone crazy from being alone.

**-unpause-**

Ivan threw me into the passenger seat and got into the drivers seat and started the engine and we left the house.

"I didn't know you could drive" I said surprised while I buckled in.

"Of course I can drive, so where is the liqour store?" He looked at me as he pulled out of the garage and had that creepy smile on his face.

"I don't know and keep your eyes on the road!" I said taking the wheel after almost hitting another car.

"Lena...where is the liqour store?" he took his hands off the wheel and turned toward me, with that stupid smile on his face.

"We'll look around town, okay!" I shouted at him and he took the wheel again.

"Spasibo Lena." He said while I tried to slow my pounding heart. We found a old run down liqour store.

"Its probably not open, stupid." I said mumbling out the last part.

"Oh I am stupid." How did the fudge did he hear that!? I glanced at him and saw the purple aura surrounding him.

"No your not! Come on they're probably open!" I said while jumping out the car and going to the drivers side and pulling Ivan out. It was open and it let in people under twenty one.

There was an old man standing at the counter looking mad about something. Weird old man.

"What do you want!" the old man spat out, this guy seems like a asshole.

"Russian vodka." Ivan said looking around the store.

"We got some of that, you got cash and a ID."

"Da I have money but nyet I do not have a ID." Ivan said not bothering to look at the old man. I wouldn't either, the asshole is being a idiot.

"If you ain't got an ID get out!" shouted the old man looking smug. Someone's an idiot~. I looked over at Ivan and saw the area surronding him turning purple. Someone's a really stupid idiot~.

"I am russian, I need vodka. If you don't give me vodka, your store is about to get bloody." he looked down at the old man with that sadistic smile. Wow, I really hope he's not gonna kill him.

"Are you threatening me!" he shouted looking scared. Yeah, you're not so smug now, are you.

"Yes I am. Will anyone really miss you." I heard him giggle and saw his smile widen.

"Uhh sir, I suggest you listen to him." I said looking at the old man who seemed to be quivering.

"Lena is right, give me the vodka now. Da." Ivan said reaching into his coat. Oh God I really hope he's not gonna kill him.

"Fine its in that row, just don't hurt me!" he shouted at Ivan and pointed to the aisle next to him.

"Spasibo." Ivan said then went to get his vodka leaving me with the scared old man. I looked over at the old man and saw him staring at me, he quickly looked away. He better not be a pedo. I looked over at Ivan and saw him with two carts full of vodka and a armfull of vodka.

"Давайте Lena" Ivan said walking toward the door while I followed behind.

"You didn't pay..." he said. Ivan reached into his coat and pulled out my wallet (HOW DID HE GET THAT!) and pulled out the thousand dollars I saved up from working and threw it at the old man.

"Will that be enough?" Ivan turned around and looked at the old man.

"About..." he said not taking his eye's of the money. Greedy old bastard.

Ivan and me left and went to the car.

"Did you have to threaten him?" I asked him when we got to the trunk of the car.

"He wouldn't tell me where the vodka was." Ivan said as I helped him get the vodka into the trunk. I just sighed and went to the passenger side.

"Well you can't threaten random peopleee!" I tripped over air, making me drag out that sentence. I caught myself before I fell to the ground. Stupid gravity.

"How do you manage to trip yourself?" Ivan asked amused that I just barely managed to catch myself.

"I didn't trip myself, its just gravity being a bitch." I said getting in the car before I hurt myself.

"It looked like you tripped yourself to me." Ivan said getting in the car and turning on the engine. I didn't say anything because I knew I wouldn't win the argument. I glanced at Ivan when I heard him giggle.

"I am right da?" he said clearly enjoying himself in being right. When I didn't answer I heard more giggling.

"Shouldn't we get home now." I asked.

"Da." he pulled out of the parking lot. Finally!

"But I am still right." UGHHH!

When we got home we were greeted with Saber sniffing us. He care's so deeply, hurray. I heard the doorbell ring and left Ivan to get his vodka out the car. I looked out the window and saw flying mint bunny and busted out laughing. I couldn't stand it anymore that thing is too funny. After my little laughing fit I opened the door and heard the sound of paws against the floor. looking at the door and saw the same delivery guy from earlier.

"Hello miss Volkov, here's the ID you ordered." He said handing the ID to me.

"Thank you!" I said then turned around to tell Ivan to get his ID. What I didn't expect was to find Ivan standing behind me smiling. I jumped back from being startled by him.

"H-Here's your ID Ivan." I gave him the ID, trying to slow down my heart.

"Spasibo Lena, now I can get better vodka!" Then he turned and left. Wow arn't you happy.

"Anyway bye I'll see you in a week." The delivery guy turned and left. I closed the door and turned to Saber who poked me with his nose.

"What?" I asked while he started to paw at my leg. It took me a while to figure out what he needed untill I noticed his ears were flat against his head. That meant he was hungry. I went into the kitchen and went toward the pantry. I got his food dish and poured the food into his dish. I set it down and went to the sink to wash my hands so I could get started on dinner.

"Ivan, what would you like to eat for dinner?" I asked since I couldn't make up my mind. I looked at the clock on the stove and noticed it was nine o'clock while I waited for Ivan to answer.

"Pirozhki would be nice da." Ivan said from the living room.

"Okay." I told him while taking out the ingredients. After making the Pirozhki I called Ivan to eat dinner. When we were done I wash the dishes while Ivan went back to watching something on tv.

"I'm going to bed now Ivan." I said from behind Ivan. He looked up at me with that ever-lasting smile.

"Goodnight Lena." He reached up and pat my head. Crap that hurt, he's making me short. I made my way upstairs and straight for my room. When I entered my room Saber was laying on my bed. I pat him on his head and looked down. I was still in my night clothes. Shrugging I went into bed. What a tiring day.

**-Four day's later-**

_There's a blade at my throat, he's breathing down my neck._

_"Did you really think you could get away from me." His grip at my wrist became tighter making me groan in pain. I widened my eye's and look at the figure that had his face against mine._

_"Why can't you just leave me alone?" My voice cracked and I heard him laugh._

_"If I did that then you would leave me, you will never leave me." He stopped laughing then tightend his grip on the blade._

_"Please, just leave me alone." I let my tears roll down my face._

_"If I can't have you, than I'll kill you!" The cold steel touched my neck and my tear's came faster. He pulled back the blade then swung toward my neck I closed my eye's and continued crying._

I shot straight up in a cold sweat. Looking around I noticed I was still in my room. I laid back down and covered my eyes with my arm. I thought I wouldn't have that nightmare anymore. I thought it was all over.

"Lena, are you okay?" I uncovered my eyes, Ivan was standing in the door way. What was he doing up? I nodded my head.

"You don't look okay."

"I'm fine." I winced as I heard my voice crack.

"Then why are you crying?"

"It was just a bad dream."

"Thats not good, da." He walked over to my bed and sat down.

"I'm okay, Ivan."

"You don't have to worry, Lena I will protect you." Ivan smiled softly as I looked at him with my eyes wide. I didn't think Ivan would say that. I nodded as I closed my eyes. I felt Ivan lay down on the bed as I drifted off to sleep.

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Yeah, so this is chapter one. If you like it you can wait when I next uplaod it. If you don't like it, then why are you reading it?


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors note**

**I do not own the manuals or Hetalia**

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When I woke up I saw big violet eyes staring down at me. So I did the logical thing anyone would do if that happened to them. I screamed.

"AHHHH!" I fell onto the floor and landed on my back, which would have been a good thing if my head hadn't slammed against the floor.

Ivan and Saber poked their heads over the edge of the bed.

"Хорошо Лeна утром."

"Ow, good morning Ivan," I got up and dusted myself off.

"Can you please get out?" I didn't want to be mean after he was nice to me.

"Da." Ivan got off my bed and made his way toward the door. Once he left I changed into jeans and a light blue shirt.

"Come on Saber." I opened my door and went down the stairs. Ivan was sitting on the couch watching tv. I went into one of the rooms downstairs and turned on my laptop that I moved into here. I had a video message invite. I clicked accept.

"Здравствуйте Лeна." My mothers face appeared on the screen.

"Здравствуй мама." I rested my head on my arms.

"It is nice to see you, how are you?"

"I'm okay, how are you and dad?"

"We are fine." She sighed, closed her eyes, and put a hand on her head. Oh God, don't say it please don't say it!

"Lena, I think you should move back home."

She said it.

"But mom-"

"No buts, I think it would be in your best interest if you came home." You thought wrong!

"I don't see why I should. I didn't do anything wrong!" I tried my hardest not to whine but I couldn't help it.

"I am just worried about you. And don't use that tone with me!" My mom narrowed her eyes at me. I shrunk back a little and looked at the ground where Saber layed.

"And you need adult supervision."

"What!?" I sat up.

"What did I just say about that tone?" She glared at me through the screen. I shrunk back down. If it weren't for the screen (and zillion mile distance) she would have smacked me upside the head.

"But I'm not a child, I'm fourteen."

"Lena it is very simple you are coming back home."

"I don't want to..."

"Lena do not make this harder for the both of us. I want to see you when you come off the plane..." She trailed off and looked up. I finally understood what she was looking at when a large hand was put on my head.

Ivan.

I could have sworn the door was closed and locked.

"Привет пропустить, are you Lena's sister?" Did he seriously just say that?

"Oh no, I am her mother. It is nice to meet you." She gushed.

"My name is Ivan Braginski, I am Lena's housemate."

"Oh, where did you meet Lena?"

"I met her online, she and I are friends and she invited me to live with her."

"Mhmmm, are you russian?"

"Da."

"Mhmm, could you let me talk to my daughter alone ?"

"Da." The weight on my head left and I cracked my neck.

"You know meeting people online is dangerous, da?" My mother fixed her eyes on me.

"Da."

"Do you know what could happen if people found out where you live?" Whats with all the questions?

"Da."

"Can you trust ?" Uhhh last time I checked he's not a pedo.

"Da."

"What if you can't defend your self, do you know what would happen?" Why are you thinking perverted?

"Da." Please stop with your questions and say I can stay.

"Good as long as you know what would happen you can stay."

"Spasibo mom!"

"Don't do anything..._bad_, see you later." My mom ended the chat before she could see my red face.

I stood up and stretched my arms. What should I have for breakfast?The door bell rung before I had a chance to think of something. Walking out I said thank you to Ivan who just smiled and patted my head, opening the door I saw the same guy who drop off Ivan.

"Hello mister delivery guy!" I said with a smile on my face.

"Your livlier than the first time I saw you." He smiled at me. Now that I see him smile he looks kinda cute.

"Yeah well people change." I signed the clipboard while the delivery guy wheeled in the crate.

"Hey, what's your name?" I tilted my head a little to the right.

"Its Tyler."

"Cool, by any chance do you know who this is?" I pointed at the crate. Tyler shook his head.

"No, but I'll see you in a week." He left closing the door behind him.

"Time to see who this is." I took the envelope that Saber had in his mouth.

YONG-SOO IM: User Guide and Manual

Kill me now. I could handle Ivan (sorta) but this guy is like a pedo. Wait a second... this asshole is taller than me! I thought asian people were short(sob). Well enough stereotypes about asians, time to wake up the pedo.

I grabbed my laptop took it toward the box grabbed the CD and shoved it in the hole. That sounds negative...After pressing play I could here humming coming from the box. I waited until the CD stopped playing grabbed my crowbar and took off the top.

"Annyeonghaseyo!" Yong-soo popped up startiling me for a second.

"Hi Yong-soo!" I waved at him.

"Are you my owner da-ze?" He tilted his head while I resited the urge to hit him with the crowbar.

"Yes I am."

"But your so small da-ze." He put his hand on my head.

"I'm only two feet shorter than you."

"Your still small, anyway what's your name da-ze?" Already he's being an ass.

"My name is Lena and why are you staring at me like that?" I took a step back when I saw a glint in his eyes.

"Your breast belong to me da-ze!" He tackled me to the ground and latched onto my chest.

"Your bigger than I thought da-ze."

"GET THE HELL OFF OF ME, YOU PEDO!" I kicked him in the stomach and threw him at a wall.

"Saber, attack!" I yelled at Saber while I covered my chest with my arms. Saber growled at Yong-soo and started to charge at him.

Yong-soo managed to jump to the side before Saber could bite him. Saber tackled Yong-soo to the ground and growled in his face showing off lovely sharp fangs.

"Saber, you can stop now."

Saber growled at Yong-soo and came to my side.

"Can we eat him da-ze?" Yong-soo pointed at Saber who tilted his head. I thought koreans eating dogs was a stereotype.

"Hell no, and if you try to eat him I will kill you."

"Hello Yong-soo, I see you have met Lena." Ivan came into the foyer with me and the pedo.

"Yes he has and he already started to be a pedo." I went into the kitchen to start breakfast.

"I'm not a pedo da-ze!" The pedo followed me into the kitchen and so did Ivan.

"You just groped a fourteen year old, I call that pedophillia."

"That won't stop me from claiming your breast da-ze!"

He launched himself at me and I ducked so he could hit one of the counters. But apperently some stereotypes are actually right, because Yong-soo put his hand on the counter before he hit it and pushed himself at me.

Someones a ninja.

Anyway I now have a gropping Korean flying at me. I ducked again. Why? It's because Ivan was behind me. This is gonna be funny.

"DA-ZEEE!" Yong-soo landed face first on Ivan's stomach. Ivan smiled and pulled Yong-soo off of him while I burst out laughing.

"Hahahahaha! Thats what you get pedo!" I held my stomach and continued laughing.

"That wasn't funny da-ze."

"Yes it was hahahahaha!" I wiped a tear from my eye.

"What should we have fo breakfast?" Ivan looked at me. I let out a giggle before stopping but I still had a smile on my face.

"Something that originated in me da-ze!" Yong-soo suggested from the floor where he laid, Saber sat down on his back.

"Get off da-ze!" Saber growled and started pawing at his back.

"Hmmm, what would you like Ivan?"

"I would like something russian but something different would be alright."

"Okay how about gaeran tost-u?"

"You know how to make that da-ze?" Yong-soo had stars in his eyes.

"Ummm yes." I backed away.

"Make it now da-ze!" Yong-soo got off the floor and started shaking me.

"Stop shaking me and maybe I will!" He stopped shaking me and I shook my head to get rid of the dizziness.

I got out the ingredients but stopped when I saw Yong-soo and Ivan staring at me. I felt my face heat up and the prickling heat on my head.

"Why are you two staring at me?" I fought the urge to scratch my head.

"We just want to see how you make it da-ze." He gave me the puppy dog eyes. I sighed and took out a water bottle from the fridge. I took a sip then put it down next to the knife.

"If your gonna stare at least sit at the table so I won't see you." Ivan walked to the table and so did Yong-soo after whining. I grabbed the knife then started chopping the cabbage and carrots.

**-hetalia-**

Once the food was done I put it on three plates. Taking the plates in my hands and one on my head (I have awesome balancing skills) I gave Yong-soo and Ivan their food. After a semi quiet breakfast I showed Yong-soo upstairs.

"So you can have any room except this one, that one, and Ivans room." I pointed.

"Okay hmmm that one da-ze." He pointed to the room across from my sisters. I unlocked the door and was roughly pushed aside by Yong-soo.

"This room is awesome da-ze!" Yong-soo ran into the room and jumped on the bed which had the south korean flag on it. The room had everything korean in it, my mom liked the country alot. I came in the room and went to the window. It had a nice view, if you squint you can see past the trees and see some houses. While I was looking at the trees Yong-soo must have silently got off the bed and snuck up behind me because I felt two arms wrap around my middle causing me to jump. I almost elbowed him in the stomach.

"Thank you da-ze."

"Your welcome." Just as the moment came so suddenly it was stopped by a certain pedo.

"Your breast belong to me da-ze!" His hands flew up to my chest.

"YOU PEDO!" I thrusted my elbow into his stomach. While Yong-soo was holding his stomach I jetted out of his room. He may be a pedo but he's kinda nice. I made my way downstairs to see Ivan and Saber watching tv together. Theyr'e so weird. And yes Saber was on the couch while Ivan was on the floor, not the other way around.

"Come on Saber." I motioned toward the door, Saber happily came to me. I opened the door and followed Saber to the woods.

**-hetalia-**

"I'm back!" I shouted when I opened the door, Saber following behind.

"Welcome back Lena." Ivan smiled at me and headed into the kitchen probably to get vodka.

"Hi Lena, guess what!" A certain korean yelled as he slid down the stairs railing.

"What?" I stepped back a little.

"Your breast belong to me da-ze!" Yong-soo jumped off the railing and soared above my head. Once he was about 5 feet above me I did a back flip and lifted my right leg so his stomach landed on my foot and used a little of my momentum to fling him over to the living room. Did I mention that I'm awesome at gymnastic.

Anyway he landed on the floor which would have hurt but luckly Saber pulled a pillow off the couch to break his fall. Yong-soo was all wide eyed, he looked so funny I started laughing. The next thing I know I'm falling backwards. I open my eyes to see Yong-soo crouched on the floor with his left leg stretched out and a big grin on his face.

You think your slick don't you. I landed on my hands and started kicking at him. He dodged all my kicks then started kicking at me. I got to my feet and threw some punches.

By the time we stopped it was about nine o'clock, we were both panting and a little sweaty.

"It's a tie da-ze." Yong-soo held out his hand. I grinned and shook it.

"Until next time when I win." I headed upstairs and turned right into my room.

"You mean _if_ you win da-ze!" Yong-soo yelled after me.

"Your just mad cause I got skillz!" I yelled back and went straight for my bathroom. After a good fifteen minute shower I changed into my tanktop and basketball shorts. I'm gonna get me some food~. I'm gonna get me some food~. I'm gonna get me-

"BOO!" Yong-soo popped out from the side of the wall.

"HOLY SHIT!" I fell onto the stairs. Damn bastard. Yong-soo laughed at me while I flipped him off and walked away.

"Awwww someones upset da-ze." Yong-soo followed behind me.

"Fuck you." I went straight toward the kitchen to start dinner, I opened the backdoor, Saber trotted outside.

"No need for such langauge da-ze." He patted my head which made me want to strangle him. I shook his hand off of my head then looked through the fridge.

"Fuck. You." I said as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Langauge da-ze." I felt his hands go at my sides which made me giggle a little.

"Someones tickle-ish da-ze!" I could hear him smile as his hands started to go up and down my sides making me start laughing. You bastard!

"Stop it hahahahahahaha!" I yelled as I struggled and squirmed but Yong-soo held a strong grip.

"Not until you say I win da-ze!" I felt tears in my eyes as I laughed harder.

"N-never hahahaha!"

"Say it da-ze!"

"S-stop it I can't breath hahahahahaha!" I waved my arms hoping Ivan could stop this torture. But of course not because he just giggled.

"Not until you say it da-ze!"

"Fine!" He stopped tickling me so I could speak. I tried to escape but his hands were still at my sides.

"You win..." I mumbled

"Louder da-ze!" He started tickling me again, this time not stopping to let me talk.

"Your a asshole hahahahahahaha!"

"That not it da-ze!" He tickled me faster.

"You win!" He finally stopped but still held me in his arms.

"That wasn't so hard da-ze." He lifted me so his face was next to mine and smiled.

"Your a asshole." I couldn't yell because my stomach hurt to much.

"Your stubborn da-ze." I tried to lift my arm and hit him but my muscles hurt to much. Yong-soo tucked me under his arm and said something to Ivan who just nodded. I slowly closed my eyes and blocked out all sounds then fell asleep.

* * *

**Authors note**

**Moonlight: I'm finally done!**

**Lena: Took you long enough.**

**Moonlight: Stop vomiting negative energy at me.**

**Lena: ...What?**

**Moonlight: Anyway all mistakes are mine and being the weird person I am I'm gonna fix some things in chapter one.**

**Lena: Don't forget to reveiw.**

**Moonlight: If you feel like it also if you don't like the story and say bad things about it I won't care.**

**Lena: Meaning if she won't give a shit if you flame.**

**Moonlight: Yup, if you don't like don't read.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Moonlight514: I don't own hetalia or the manuals**

* * *

I walked slowly down the stairs while the door bell rang multiple times. Stupid Tyler he should know ringing a door bell isn't going to make me come down the stairs any faster than I already am. I finally reach the door just as Tyler was starting to knock. I opened it slowly the door, squinting my eyes because of the sunlight.

"Took you long enough," Tyler handed me the clipboard thing. I signed it and handed it back.

"Shut up, its too early for this," He looked at me for a second then looked at his watch.

"You know its, like, twelve right now?" I shrugged. Screw time. I moved aside as Tyler wheeled in the next bother in my life. I closed the door once he left then turned to the crate.

_Knock knock knock!_

Ugh, what the hell does he want now. I opened the door again.

"What?"

"Theres another unit," I looked at Tyler with squinted eyes, not because of the sun but because of what he said.

"What did you say?" I moved to the side while he put the other crate next to the first one.

"You got another unit," This asshole has to be kidding.

"Your kidding, right?"

"Nope." Tyler left, closing the door behind him. I turned around and saw Yong-soo behind me with both his arms up above his head and a frozen expression kinda like this: 8D. Ivan was just coming down the stairs.

"What the hell are you doing?" He put his hands down and scratched the back of his head.

"Nothing da-ze," Strange, it looked like you were about to scare me either that or grope me. But thats my thought.

"Sure you were," I walked over to the crate on the left.

"Who'd we get da-ze?" I stood up on my toes and reached up for the envelope and box on top.

"I don't know ," I stretched my arm up further. "Thats why I'm trying to get the envelope." goddamn height.

"Lena,"

"Yeah, Ivan?"

"Here." I turned to Ivan, he had the box in one hand and the envelope in the other.

"When did you get that?" He patted my head when I took the box and envelope.

"I took it when you were trying to reach it," Ivan giggled. "Its funny watching short people try to get something out of their reach."

*glass shatters* You hear that? That was my pride shattering. I heard snickers behind me.

"Your short da-ze," Yong-soo snickered again. I flipped him off. See, this is why I don't like being short. Everyone makes fun of your height and you can't really do shit. What I don't like most is that my family is full of tall mother fuckers. Okay enough ranting cause I feel my body heating up and that means I'm gonna hurt someone or something. I opened the envelope and was about to take out the manual when a hand reached out from behind me and took the manual.

You can only guess who did that.

"You were too slow da-ze."

I turned around and glared at Yong-soo. He ignored me and opened the envelope.

"Give it back," I reached for the envelope but Yong-soo held it above his head. This is what I mean about short people can't do shit about tall people.

"Whats the magic word da-ze?"

"Give it back now or I'll punch you in the face."

"Thats not it da-ze~," I reached for it again but Yong-soo switched the envelope to his other hand. I felt my body temperature rise slightly and I curled my hand into a fist.

No, I'm not gonna punch him in the face... just in the stomach. I slammed my fist into Yong-soo's stomach making him topple over to the ground and let go of the envelope.

"Oww..." I picked up the envelope and pulled out the manual.

"Your okay, your still alive, aren't you?" I poked Yong-soo in his back with my foot.

"No da-ze,"

I sucked my teeth at him. He is all right, he's just being dramatic. And yeah I do know I'm being insensitive but he deserved it for making me feel short. I heard a scrapping sound from behind me.

...

...

...

OH SHIT! I left Saber alone outside when me and Yong-soo were fighting! Not last week when he scared me and I fell on the steps.

"Saber!" I sprinted toward the backdoor, nearly slamming into the door trying to stop. I practically ripped the door off the hinges trying to open it.

"Saber~," He wagged his tail and barked/howled happily. I patted his head while he licked my other hand.

"Мой бедный маленький щенок, я так сожалею, что вы должны были остаться за пределами всю ночь," I ran my hand through Saber's fur. Then I noticed something.

"What the hell, Saber? Your covered in dirt!" I looked at my right hand. It was covered in dirt.

"Eww. How did you get so dirty?" Saber tilted his head towards the backyard. There was a hole about 5 feet wide right in the center of the yard.

"Really, Saber, you couldn't sleep on the porch?"

He huffed at me.

"Since when does the commie have a dog?"

Please tell me I didn't get him. Please please please tell me I didn't get _that_ guy. I turned my head, slowly, to the voice I heard behind me.

"Your not the commie."

"...Fuck."

**-hetalia-**

I cannot -_cannot!-_ believe my shitty luck. You wanna know why? Because I just got the -self proclaimed- hero. And I'm not saying I don't like him it's just that he seems so difficult to understand. Plus he's loud. And arrogant. And he eats to much.

Something wet ran up my cheek.

"Ew, Saber, don't lick me when I'm mind ranting," I said while poking Saber's nose.

"Damn commie,"

"привет (hello) comrade,"

I turned around to see Alfred and Ivan glaring at each other. Well kind of glaring, Al was glaring Ivan was looking at him with a smile going 'kolkolkol'

"Lena da-ze!"

"What? Why are you yelling?" Does he not know that my hearing is sensitive in the morning? I looked over at Yong-soo; he was waving his arms up and down for some odd reason.

"There's nothing in the crate da-ze!"

"So you yell?"

"Was I not supposed to da-ze?"

_smack!_

That was my hand connecting with my face. Its too fucking early to be dealing with this shit.

I walked over to the crate, hitting Yong-soo in the process to make him shut up, and peered down at the sleeping form of Canada. I turned to Yong-soo who was rubbing the side of his head from when I hit him.

"The crate isn't empty, Canada's in there," Yong-soo looked at me then tilted his head to the side.

"...Who da-ze?"

Cue another face-palm.

"Never mind," I said while picking up Canada's manual and reading how to wake him up. So I have to speak french. Okay.

"Canada, peut vous réveiller?(Canada can you wake up?)" I said and poked him in the head with the manual. He wiggled a little then opened his eyes and looked up at me.

"Good to see that your awake," I smiled at him. He smiled back for a second and narrowed his eyes at me.

"How do I know you can't see me, eh?"

"Would I be talking to you if I couldn't see you?" He thought then smiled again.

"It's nice to meet you...?"

"Lena, nice to meet you to Canada," I said, smiling softly. Canada got out of his crate while I read through his manual. *gasp!* He can make pancakes! And marijuana brownies...Anyway, pancakes yay! I wonder if he would put in blueberries. I love things that have blueberries.

I felt a tap on my shoulder. I glanced up and saw Yong-soo.

"Hmmmm?"

"Who were you talking to da-ze?"

"Canada," He just looked at me.

"Matthew," He looked at me again.

"The personification of Canada,"

"Who da-ze?"

Face-fucking-palm. I need to stop face-palming before I get a hand print on my face.

"Lena are you okay? You have a hand print on your face da-ze," Too late. I turned to face Matthew and saw him slowly fading.

"Matt," I walked up to him "Can you make some pancakes?"

He nodded "Sure,"

Awesome, I get pancakes~.

**-hetalia-**

An awesome breakfast and two fights separated later, I glared down at Saber and he glared back just as hard.

"Get in the tub, Saber." He huffed at me but got in anyway and started licking the water.

"Don't drink the water," I said grabbing the washcloth by the sink and added soap. Saber looked at me then at the soap then at me again and. He lifted his paw to the edge of the tub.

"At least wait till I get the soap on you." He put his paw back down. This is the easy part: getting him in the tub and getting the soap on him. The hard part: getting him to stay still while I wash him. I scrubbed the washcloth against Saber's back while he tried to wiggle away from me.

"Остановить извиваясь,(Stop squirming,)" Saber growled at me but stopped moving.

And thats when he did it. Just as I reached the top of Saber's head, he jumped out of the tub, looked back at me and pushed me into the tub. You wanna know what I did ? I screamed. Loudly. And the next thing I know the guys bust in my bathroom at look at like 'what the fuck happened to you?".

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" I yelled. The guys slammed the door shut in Saber's face.

Not only am I pissed at Saber I'm soaking wet (A/N: no shit sherlock) and I'm wearing one of those shirts that are kinda see through when wet (not a white t-shirt though). So in short I'm soaking wet, I'm pissed, and the guys saw my bra. You can tell I'm pretty mad. I heard a snicker from behind the door.

"If your laughing at me I will fucking kill you in the worst way possible!" There was silence before loud laughter came from the other side of the door.

"Motherfuckers,"

"Sorry dudette, but that was too funny!" My pissed off level is just getting higher and higher till I explode. I got out of the tub, glaring at Saber while doing so, and walked into my closet to change clothes. When I got back the door was open, Saber was gone, and Alfred had a guilty look on his face.

"Where's my dog?" I asked. The guys were quiet. Ivan was the first to speak up.

"Alfred was wondering if you were okay so he opened the door and Saber ran out." I slowly turned my head to look at Alfred while Ivan said this.

"Heh, sorry Lena," Al scratched the back of his head.

"..."

"Lena?"

"...You fucking asshole."

"It seemed like the heroic thing to do!"

"It wasn't."

"I'll make it up to you! I can take you to mc-"

"If you say mcdonalds I will smack you with the motherfucking sink,"

"Lena is violent when she's mad da-ze,"

"She _is_ Russian, da." I turned to Ivan and Yong-soo who were whispering quietly to each other (A/N:apparently not so quietly if you can hear them).

"I can hear you." They shut their mouths. I turned back to Al who was trying to tip toe out of my room.

"Don't you dare move," I said. Al stopped in his tracks and slowly turned his head in my direction.

"Your going to find Saber and get him clean or I'm going to decapitate you and use your head to play soccer, got it?"

"Y-yes ma'am," Maybe its me but I love the look of pure horror on his face, I just think its so funny. Good lord I'm so freakin' mean.

**-hetalia-**

I creeped along the side of the house. I feel like a stalker, I shouldn't have to sneak up on my dog to get him to take a bath. I poked my head around the corner; Saber was standing a couple of feet away, looking up at the fence. He's probably wondering if he can jump it. I tip toed over to him careful not to step on a twig or something. Saber perked up his ears and let out a low growl. Shit, he must've heard my feet against the grass. In an instant Saber was off running toward the back of the house.

"Dammit!" I ran off after him and tackled him to the ground. He wiggled as I lifted him up on his hind legs. A blast of water was shot at Saber followed by loud laughter. I let go of Saber and laughed as he tried to run from the water.

"That's what you get, you li-ahhh!" I screamed as water was shot at me. I hid behind the oak tree to avoid getting sprayed.

"That's for being mean to me da-ze!" I giggled and stuck my head out from behind the tree.

"You were being loud!" I narrowly avoided get shot in the face ans stayed behind the tree. I let out a giggle. This was like a game I played with my friends, someone was the shooter and they had to shoot everybody and whoever got shot first would be the shooter in the next round, but you have to get head-shots to win. But instead of a hose we would use a watergun. The only things missing were a watergun and my friends. Mason would make the game very fun.

* * *

**A/N**

**Moon: It took me three fucking months to do this chapter. I feel disappointed in myself.  
**

**Lena: It was a very complicated three months.  
**

**Moon: Not only did my first computer commit suicied, but I had to deal with shit from school, my family, and me and my sisters cat died. All of that is not necessary. Anyway sorry for the late update, but its hard to write when you have to deal with life. And please check out the new story that I'm gonna post right after this. Leave a review if you like if you don't like then don't leave anything.  
**


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